My experiments with Air**l

I have been a faithful customer of Air**l for almost 7 years now (Hint: A R Rahman's tune). Initially, I used to pay up front and use their services later. I realized there was no point in lending them money, so moved to post-paid plan (now favour is theirs upon me). Although the cellular business is on the high and will always be in India, incident such as narrated below might just tell the story of the state of mobile telephony services in India.

Question: How to get rid of unwanted services forced upon us?
Answer: A long answer, really:
Since we are presently not in India, my wife's pre-paid telephone is mostly switched off. Some analysis software must be highlighting this data to their marketing wing. One fine day (by rare chance, on that day we were in India!), she received a nice SMS stating "We have enabled Hello Tune on your phone. We'll deduct Re 1 per day, starting today. To disable the tune, please call XXX-XXXX". Natural reaction was to call the number and get rid of the ghastly tune. Well, if it were so simple, it wouldn't be India. Obsessed with that particular number, we began calling it every now and then. After lunch, before tea, after saying good night and so on. The other side seemed to have blocked all the numbers "Call Can't be connected" was the only greeting it would offer me.

Days passed and the balance eroded at the rate of Re 1 per day (consider another million subscribers, so for the company it's gain of a million Rupess a day!). Finally, I had enough, and decided to take the bull head-on. Determined to stop this leak, we went to local office. The staff was considerably arrogant (what did you expect?) and offered only a telephone and suggested to make a call to the call center. After holding the receiver for a few minutes, I finally got a human on the other end. He was unable (or unwilling) to help because I had called from Maharashtra, while the phone connection belonged to Karnataka. I thought silly matter of 'roaming' should not prevent the provider itself from fixing my problem. Apparently not. I picked a little fight with the local staff, who dared me to switch service to another company (which they promised would be as bad as they were).

Tired of all this, I lifted the phone again, but this time to lodge a complaint against the local office (for not showing willingness to help). This time, the other human side seemed way too much attentive. She politely asked me what was the complaint about and what problem I had with the connection itself. After listening to this minor complaint about Hello Tune, she asked me to wait a few moments. When she returned, I had achieved my goal. In the next minute I received SMS that the "service" was now disabled (and the note had the customary thank you in the end).

What a hard-fought victory!

Passport Seva

* This post is only for informational purpose, based on my experience. Also, please do not infer any linguistic features (such as irony, etc.) from what follows:

My passport expired. It could no longer serve me for the greater purposes of seeing the world. Now, to get a new one I had to start the process. Within 13 days of expiry, I started on application for the passport. For the better (for most part) Bangalore has a 'Seva Kendra' or 'Service Center' to go to (presently only in the cities of Bangalore and Chandigarh).

• The process starts with reading up the documentation requirement. For address proof, I had a gas connection receipt, SBI passbook, Citibank letter of address acknowledgement. If you are lucky to have a BSNL landline connection, that is even better.
• Further, I carried marriage certificate and degree certificate, all in original and 100 copies (all self attested) of which they ultimately picked only one.
• You need to create a login ID on the passport seva kendra website (google it), and create a new application. Here, you need to provide most of the details such as new address, service needed (new or re-issue, addition of details, etc.). Typically they ask for two references from the city you live in. You can count on your relatives or close friends for that.
• After successfully logging in (which takes 3-4 attempts every time) and completing the form, take an appointment. From what I know, and have experienced an appoint is a must (it will increase success rate and comfort level). Don't look shocked if you see appointments are available only after 15-20 days from the date your watch is showing. Take a print-out of the appointment letter which carries more important details than just appointment date and time (e.g. please be present at the venue 30 minutes before the appointment). 
• Once you are done with this, start collecting all possible address proofs, and other documents to strengthen your case. Please bear with the authorities there if they discard most of it (and call yourself lucky that they accepted a precious one to grant you a passport).
• On the day of appointment, get up early and start preparing yourself for unavoidable delays at the office. Reach on time (leave your helmet locked on the vehicle - they don't allow gear to save your head). Stand in the line, pass through the mild security checks.
• Once inside, don't say, Oh God where have I come - for you have come to the right place. There will be hundreds of people in different queues. Except for a couple of lines where you can guess something scribbled to be 'Token' you can pick your lane, get through first round of document verification. Once OKayed by the TCS employee, they offer you a token of appreciation. This one you will do good to keep all the time with you. On the token you'll see counters: A-->B-->C--> exit.
• It's much more than just three counters and exit. Based on the token order, you'll be asked to go to counter A (scanning of documents, photo+finger prints and payment of fees). After waiting for another hour or so, you'll get to see someone at counter B, where they verify all the documents and originals etc. You may be asked to provide some additional document for which you will be sent back to counter A (this will be quick though).
• Finally, after a couple of hours of much bench-warming in the waiting area, you'll find yourselves at Counter C, where they accept the 'File' and you are done.

Well, you are done just for the day. Then there is a different experience of waiting for the real passport.

Yes, but good thing is that they don't charge you for that!

An enemy of the people

Last week I got hold of this DVD of "An Enemy of the People," a wonderful drama in three acts by Ibsen. I had watched Hedda Gabler - but don't remember liking it much. This one, however, I found marvelous, a classic! Arthur Miller sure did choose a perfect drama to adapt to English. Salute!

Subject? The topic? This is a story of a doctor who finds toxic effects of a local bath (spring is perhaps a better word) that the City is using as tourist attraction, a means to overcome poverty. Thinking of the discovery as a triumph, the doctor takes the route of publishing in a 'liberal' newspaper, effectively going against the high-flying Mayor: his own brother. As he finds out, standing by Truth, and convincing people to take side of the Truth is not easy. The liberals, are no more liberals and are hypocrites actually. The Mayor will not allow this devastating discovery to become a hurdle in economic growth of the town (only a handful powerful people, effectively). The two brothers turn enemies, and over time, entire town declares the doctor an enemy of the people. He stands alone in this battle.

Dr. Stockmann. Yes. (Gathers them round him, and says confidentially:) It is this, let me tell you--that the strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.

You may replace the context of poisoned springs with corruption or even the issue of global warming - it's generic.

Definitely, a recommended watching (and a reading post-viewing).

Serenity

One of the best photos I have ever clicked.

Walk in the Park

Parking (and of course, un-parking) is an Art one must master if one desires to survive in Bangalore. And I think I received my diploma in that discipline last evening!

Ironically, the Test was outside of the Chinnaswamy stadium where Champions League T20 match was about to be played. Ridiculously overconfident, I thought there would be few takers for this tournament-opener, and Parking my bike at the venue would be a walk in the Park. Alas, it was not to be. Or rather, I was to pick the most difficult-to-park area of the field.

By the time we reached there, there must have been almost five hundred bikes parked all over the place in most creative configurations. Latest rains had given rise to weed (both with and without thorns) posing additional challenges ( in other words, bonus points were up for grabs). There was no entrance to the parking lot. All I could see was people rushing to somehow get their bikes first on the sidewalk (involved 8 inches of steep step) and then up a small climb of about one meter into the parking lot. And then somehow hope to find some place for the bike to rest before it was taken through another ordeal of coming out of the lot.

I wish I had a bike that turned into a bicycle whenever I wished. To lift 110Kg bike with ten gentlemen trying to hurry you is not easy. Worse so, when you are anxious to get into the stadium. I tried using the powerful engine's thrust to get over the step. It wouldn't work. Then I tried to get hold of the knee guard and lift the bike over the step. It couldn't work: for it was against first principles of physics. Lastly, I got down from the bike, somehow held the bike handle and one side of the knee guard and hoped it would move quickly over the edge. Miracle or whatever, this worked. But I had no time to rest and enjoy this small success. The next challenge was to get the rear wheel over. This was no-brainer, as I had done this maneuver many times before. Climbing back on the seat, I simply pulled the bike through!

Well begun is half done, they say. It's only half-true. After pushing along for a few feet, I was already surrendering to the thought that I had made a big mistake in riding to the stadium on bike. It seemed like everyone (including the players and their agents) in the stadium had ridden on their bike to the match. I could sense an expression of hard fought victory on the faces of those who had (somehow) parked their bikes and were coming out. 'Don't go any further, there is no place' was a continuous advice I was subject to.

I could not go back a loser. (Especially since my wife was watching me.)

I decided to press on. Invoked the God of Bikes and somehow, only somehow grabbed a tiny gap between two scooters. Without respecting the thorns or broken twigs of a nondescript ivy (whatever!) I got down, locked the bike and shouted, "I am done!"

---

All through the game (which the Cobra's won in the end) my mind was kept under certain uncomfortable effect induced when you think your possession is not safe. Two overs before the game ended, we decided to get out and see if we would have any luck in getting the bike out of the jungle.

I was prepared to stay on till first Sun rays were out.

Luck, however, had different plans. Or rather, I had strong will (which explained the Way). I couldn't believe my eyes that there was a one-foot opening that could take me all the way to the exit.

Joy filled the air. All of a sudden, music started in full blast. There were fireworks in the sky, and people cheered (which only later I found out, was not for me, but for the fifth wicket RCB managed to take!).

Whatever!

I had passed the Parking Test with flying colors. Critics may boo 'what about un-Parking?' But I think I won't take that test anytime till the next year!

Come What April (as against Come What May)

If April showers

should come your way 

They bring the flowers

That bloom in May

-- Buddy DeSylva, the songwriter.

This little song pretty much sums up the Bangalore weather of late. Not that the rains are very much welcome, especially if that causes cancellation after cancellation of our daily diet of Football in the evening. And after last Friday's road-block (reasons of which will remain unknownto mankind forever), which comprised of a mental procedure called torture inflicted by one hour of forced  seat-warming in a bus which carried a large population mosquitoes for a company; I am not sure I'd appreciate any more evening showers. 

No sir. Not in the evenings at any rate!

Ring in the New

Bye Bye 2008.

And welcome to 2009 (year of Ox, the chinese say). Whatever. May the year belong to healthy Bulls on share market streets all over the world :)

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

Matter-of-fact

Q. Why did the auto-bailout plan to rescue the three Detroit Biggies not go through?

A. Probably the U.S. government thought they couldn't a-ford it.

My Word!

Frequenters of the New York Times website might have already noticed this, but this is a feature worth re-noticing!

How many times have you shown a little frustration when an interesting article suddenly sends down a difficult-word-bouncer? Most of the times, in my case for sure, you'd just skip that word and move on. The feature I am talking about it precisely for such yous.

While reading any article on the NYTimes, if you come across such difficult word as you never knew, simply hightlight it using the mouse, and a question-mark will appear. To know the its meaning take little trouble and click the question-mark, you'll get the meaning.

Isn't it a simple innovation worth thousand (difficult) words?

Routine

gmail.com

esakal.com

nytimes.com

[bits of work]

gmail.com

[More bits of work]

nytimes.com

reader.blogger.com

[pieces of work]

gmail.com

[morning coffee break]

gmail.com

[more work]

nytimes.com

[A meeting]

[Lunch]

garfield.com

gmail.com

reader.blogger.com

[traces of work]

nytimes.com

weather.yahoo.com

dilbert.com

[yaawwwn, work]

gmail.com

reader.blogger.com

nytimes.com

[closing remarks]

gmail.com

orkut.com

nytimes.com

rediff.com

[.]

and for a change, today,

blogger.com!

And just that much for creativity :(

Is it official yet?

I thought the day had risen, at last! After round-about talk of recession and economic slow-down, today came the news of biggest financial institution filing for bankruptcy and the other setting itself up for buyers.

Yet, it was not quite official.

This afternoon, however, after buying my lunch when I went ahead to pay for it, I saw this bold printouts at all the cash registers: "Credit card machines out of order. Cash Please."

And then, I thought it was official, after all!

Resigned to Admit

Today a close friend asked me if I had a 'template for a resignation letter' ready with me. Now, I am not a job-jumper myself, and it was a bit too much for him to ask me for that (and in the same breath, for a CV too).

I tried to come up with one template, but failed miserably.

Winners never quit they say. During my stay at your organization, I have learnt that this is not quite correct. I have heard of a lot of colleagues of mine getting unheard-of raises when they quit. I think my time is here, and I must get there on time to see it.

I have always dreamed to quit this organization. That has been my driving force all my life. I thank you for giving me an opportunity to fulfill it.

Please don't try to contact me at my personal e-mail address. I can't keep answering your frivolous (stupid, in English) queries forever. In any case, I have just hanged it anyway.

So long! (that describes all those painful years of overwork and under appreciation)
(Now not) yours,
-me

Tea-totaler

Something like this happened with me a few years ago. Only in my case, all I had ordered was an iced-tea!

If I fill in the right detail of the incident, at that time, the sales-guy there had apologized to me blaming the power outage, that the iced-tea was not cold.

And while we are on the topic of Iced Tea, let me re-iterate the universal truth: Iced Tea tastes horrible when it's not cold!

Tennis, anyone?

At workplace, or on court:

It's one thing saying, "hey, I am done with my part. The ball is in your court now," and it's a very different thing when the ball is never returned and you keep waiting for it.

And, of course, it's entirely DIFFERENT matter if I had hit an ace to start with!

Missing OS

My IBM laptop (or rather, the company-provided laptop that I use) is notorious for giving me scares at wrong times. Today, I had an important meeting, and ten minutes before the meeting when I tried to boot it up, it yawned. It let out a few cries and looked at me with a blank face. Having known this buddy for quite a while now, I pressed the power button again to wake it up.

To my further surprise, it completely ignored my wake-up call and provided me with "Missing operating system," his love - Microsoft Windows xP.

I remembered the old joke about a software engineer in a car that wouldn't start.

I had no choice but to press the power-on button again: and not to my surprise, the machine booted up quite nicely.

The operating system had finally answered the laptop's call.

Being Scott Adams

Dilbert.com website has just got better. I must say, way better. With their new feature called "Dilbert Mashups," you now have a say. Presently last of the three-column strip is opened up for your creative ideas.

So, what are you waiting for: deliver a punch line right away!

Or you may want to amuse yourself by going through my user-page here.

Meta-poem

That poetry was supposed to have
          Some drama, love or war; and a romantic theme.
Yet when it started to unfold,
          it had no end, and O reader--- forget about the rhyme!

Tiger

"He cannot rest. For he who rides a tiger cannot dismount"

-Jawaharlal Nehru, from his anonymous, self-analytical essay

Sitting on my favourite, cool-n-comfortable
Wooden chair in my room;
Locked inside my world,
Aware of the never-ending chaos
That's present in the outside world,
I wonder;
exactly what
the difference
between these two
seemingly similar words is:

Silence and Peace.

Know thy language

I hate it when people pronounce enable as unable. Can it be design of the nature that these be so opposite in meaning yet close in their pronunciations? Another pathetic experience is that of hearing a person use "able" as a verb; as in, I can able to do this part. It's just not English.

I also hate it when people mix up the usage of "its" and "it's". I mean, despite constant coaching in schools about how different they are, if people commit the same mistake again and again, something must be wrong with them. And this doesn't happen in text messages over cell-phones, but in first and second drafts of papers to be submitted to international conferences. But then, perhaps, that's not the last straw. The last would be when an Englishman starts doing that, I guess?

I am keeping count of the straws, by the way!