Something's Cooking

Six steps to tasty pav-bhaaji-

• Go out and buy the following - 1/2 kg flower, 1/4 kg carrots, 1/4 kg tomato, 1/4 kg onions and 1/4 kg potatoes (if you don't have those, that is), 1 100gm pack of Amul Butter, and n number of bun-pav. Forget bargain, it's cheap anyway. Decide to bring your own cloth bag next time. I know you don't like plastic bags- they are not good. I know. Turn on the music system once you return home.
  
• Cut the vegetables and prepare for cooking them in a pressure cooker. Oh no, you forgot to wash the vegetables. Wash them first and then cut. Other way round is not advisable in presence of others/mom/<>. Increase the volume of the song - it's not audible inside the kitchen. Wait, don't keep the butter pack near the gas stove. Now you go and increase the volume. Find the lighter to light the stove. It is not where you expect it to be. So don't look out at any of the expected places. Wait, do you have the pressure cooker with the vegetables inside? No. Now start cutting the vegetables and then find the lighter. Watch out - careful. No more finger-cutting this time around. OUCH.
  
• After the search operation is successful, keep the pressure cooker on the burner (which should be burning by now) and make sure the whistle is in place. Good. Now that the song is over, you may want to change the CD. Meanwhile, open the butter pack and keep it ready. Once the cooker sends out three sharp whistles and a lot of vapour, turn off the stove and wait for five minutes. Do whatever you want- may be call if the guests are stuck in traffic jam or not. If not, tell them to expect one on their way.
• Remove the pressure cooker lid. I knew it, don't take out the vessels inside with bare hands. Use your head first and then a cloth to insulate your hand from the heat. Nothing unusual - I quite expected it. So far so good. In a frying pan, take considerable quantity of butter, light the burner and await melting of the butter. Now go find a large spoon to stir the subji. You need to clean it first? Well, you have a minute to do that before the butter almost turns into ghee. Now wipe that spoon with a cloth- no you fool, not with that one - we use it to mop the kitchen table. Yeah- use the other one. OK. Now before you fry the sliced onion in the pan, check if the butter has molten. Fry for a couple of minutes. Then add the half (or more than a half) cooked vegetables. You forgot to remove the extra water. Leave it, I'll do it for you. Nice. Now add the pav-bhaji masaalaa and keep stirring. Salt? No we need to add it later. Keep the burner on low flame and if you want cover it with the lid. Now you can go and change the song.
• It's almost done. Now add some extra butter. Nice. Take out the bun bread and cut [those] in halves. Apply butter to it - decide the quantity of butter by remembering who all are invited for the treat. Keep the buns with extra butter separate from the crowd. Just remember where you have kept them. Switch off the burner to both the sabji and pav. You are done.
• Eat with a great appetite.

You can also do with more cheese and a lime and what not. But above are the steps for basic pav bhaji. For special pav bhaji or Amul cheese pav bhaji, or Shahi pav bhaji with Mashroom, or Jain pav bhaji, or pav-bhaji-e-khaas, please write to me. I'll be just too happy to come over -

and eat at your place.